Category Archives: fingertips

why worry? (question no. 3)


Question no. 3 in Martha Beck’s Yours for the Asking article is:

Why worry?


I worry.

I worry every now and then. Especially when it comes to my son. I worried and cried and prayed so hard for each time he fell off the bed or bumped his head or he was sick and brought to the hospital. I worry that I am not a good mom and that my shortcomings will affect his growth and maturity. I worry that my husband and I will not be able to provide for him well.

I worry about my health and my husband’s and my parents’. I worry that I might come down with a disease that will handicap me and that will make me a burden to my husband.

I used to worry about client complaints and quality of work. I used to have sleepless nights wondering how i’ll resolve a conflict or issue at work. I’m glad I have rid myself of the job and consequently, the sometimes unfounded worries.

Of course, I can not apply the same solution to the other aspects of my life. I most certainly cannot get rid of my son so I can stop worrying about his welfare. I can’t wish myself dead or my parents or my husband just so I won’t worry about their health.

Worrying is a waste of energy. I used to have disturbing Sunday night anxieties which led to restless sleep and bad Mondays… and bad week. It was a vicious cycle.

I’m grateful I don’t worry as much now. I have turned to prayers and writing and playing with my son. He is an abundant source of joy and hope and faith.

Sunday night anxieties were replaced with wonderful routines such as menu planning for the week, cooking, magazine reading and organizing my to do’s and work schedule. I feel that I have a lot more control of my life now.


Past experiences have taught me that things almost always work out for the best, so why worry? We stumble, we fall, we pick up scars along the way but we live and move on, so why worry? If you worry and your worry doesn’t happen, you worried in vain. If you worry and it happened, you worry twice. There’s no winning with worry.

Easier said than done, but it certainly is good to remember to ask – Why worry?!?

I have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened. – Mark Twain


i’m posting every week for the second half of 2011!


I’m reaching a big milestone in my life this August – I’m turning 30! – and I’ve decided I want to blog more. I’m starting right now. I will be posting on this blog at least once a week for the rest of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy and I might come up with a million excuses, but it will be fun, inspiring, awesome and simply wonderful if I could just do it. Therefore i’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.



20 questions a woman should ask herself – question no. 2


It’s been more than a week since I posted question no. 1. Now, we’re off to question no. 2 from Martha Beck’s Yours for the Asking article in the February 2011 edition of O, The Oprah Magazine.

Is this what I want to be doing?

Time is precious because it is limited to 24 hours a day. This second question aims to foster mindfulness of the here and now. Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily routine that we just let time pass us by and we forget about the things that matter.


I personally find this question helpful as I try to schedule and maximize my weekends. I try my very best not to work on Saturdays and Sundays unless absolutely necessary. I also surf facebook less than I used to. I have long let go of my plants and zombies. I read somewhere that ‘poor’ people spend on entertainment while ‘rich’ people invest in themselves. Point taken so I try to squeeze in more time for reading and self-help, learning to cook, menu planning, finding ways to be a better mom. I rarely oversleep anymore.

The big thing that bothers me though is that I sometimes feel I’m in the wrong career. After completing the Certified Management Accountant (CMA) course I took last May, I don’t feel motivated to finish the case paper and take the exam. I also have long abandoned reading and keeping myself abreast in latest developments in the profession. I’m not certain if it’s just a phase or something that I should take very seriously and soul-search upon. I’m sure I have been very passionate once about being a Certified Public Accountant and auditor.

While still mulling over that predicament consciously and subconsciously, I have decided to focus on things that interest me such as writing, hoping that in the process, i’d find myself and what I truly want to be and do in my 30’s. It’s never too late for new beginnings.

Finding the answers starts with posing the right questions…

20 questions a woman should ask herself (question no. 1)


Instead of staring into space or willing the traffic to move, I bring my pinkpad with me on my everyday commute and listen to podcasts or read books or magazines.

Today, I read the February 2011 edition of O, The Oprah Magazine which was a free download. I especially liked Martha Beck’s column May We Help You? This month’s topic was all about the 20 essential questions every woman should ask herself. Since I’m currently at a ‘confused’ stage, the article caught my attention. Maybe asking the right questions could help me ‘find’ myself and redirect my life appropriately.

Knowing which changes are best for you comes, always, from assessing what you feel. Ask yourself every day.

Yours for the Asking question number 1 is:
…Without this question, you wouldn’t ask any others, so it gets top billing. It creates an alert, thoughtful mind state, ideal for ferreting out the information you most need in every situation. Ask it frequently.”

I know that my answer to this would be, “What do I really want?” because hubby keeps telling me I should try to discover what I truly want instead of merely saying or recognizing the things I don’t want.

I’m magulo and don’t have concrete plans to get to where I want. And that’s a fact that my husband pointed out to me just the other night. I argued that I do have plans but I need to invest in myself and some capital, which brings me to my other favorite question for the past month: “Bakit hinde ako nananalo sa lotto? Bakit?!!!” (pretty desperately). Anyway, after someone won the 6 55 grand lotto last night, I decided to quit this nonsense dream that I will win the lotto someday. There’s got to be a better way. Hmmm… What are those ways?

I will answer the other questions in the coming days. Hopefully, after I get to question no. 20, I’ll be on my way to a better me. Yet. After all, change never ends.


my money mishaps


I was never good with money.

I remember when i was a kid, a then-childless aunt would occasionally borrow me. I would sleep over and we’d say the rosary before we go to bed. I knew the rosary by heart then and my auntie would let me lead as we pray for her special intentions.

The best part of being with my auntie was the upgrade in my baon. She used to give me P50, which is more than twice the baon i normally got from my parents. The first time that happened, I felt I won a major prize and went on a spending spree on food, mostly ice cream and soft drinks. The rest of the day, I felt rich and powerful and every now and then bought candy and snacks. I had a smirk on my face I couldn’t erase!

On the way to the tricycle stand after school, I reached into my pocket for my P1.00 fare but alas! I had nothing in my pocket. Not a centavo. Nothing! Nada! How could that have happened? I started the day rich and then suddenly I was penniless? I felt like crying. I almost did. How the hell was I to go home without money for fare?

I felt so desperate at that time. I turned to my cousin for help but all she had was P1.00, just enough for her fare. Our young minds could muster only one solution at that time – we flagged down a tricycle and I sat on her lap the whole trip. We must have been a funny sight! We were the only passengers yet we tried our hardest to occupy space for one person because we can only afford fare for one. The driver was indignant when we handed over our precious P1.00 coin but we didn’t wait for his reaction, we ran as fast as we could and never looked back.

I felt so euphoric in being ‘rich’ that I spent more than what I had. After that humbling experience, one might think that I would have learned my lesson. Not really. I always felt scarcity of money was the problem, not me or my attitude towards it. The mindset was “If I just had more money…. “.

I continued to have financial mishaps through my teenage and working years. I would ask for money from my parents for ‘ghost’ projects so that I can go out with my friends after classes. I remember my first salary was not enough to finance my daily expenses that I had to call my mama every once in a while to ask for money. Eventually, I became financially independent but with the increase in salary came credit cards! What a temptation those small plastic cards were. They thought me how to invest and my ‘investments’ were in the form of stilettos, bags, cellphones, office suits, clothes, facials, salon treatments, etc.

And then i realized i’ve been working for almost a decade and getting old but with nothing to show for it. What a shame! I even had the guts to go jobless for six months!

It is hard and a bit embarrassing to start thinking of managing my finances only at this stage. Of course, i did try to put my finances in order at some sane points in my life but somehow, I always failed.

I am proud to note though that since the start of the year, i have been more prudent in my spending. Reading my husband’s blog and an occasional nudge from him helps. We’ve been saving some money by cooking our baon for lunch instead of buying, and going on runs instead of date-night movies. I also do not frequent shopping malls as much. I have one credit card left which i use only for my online purchases (restricted to apps and digital magazines) and I make sure that I pay my bill asap. I have also made my first mutual fund investment. Yay!

I dream of financial freedom someday. I read somewhere that a long journey starts with one small step. I am not hopeless. I may be a late-bloomer but as they say, it is better late than never. I don’t want to grow old and miserable.

“Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure nineteen six, result happiness.
Annual income twenty pounds, annual expenditure twenty pounds six, result misery.”
– Dickens’ Mr. Micawber

true color


I love my hubby and his passionate mind, especially his appetite for learning and sharing. Just this morning he tweeted the link on how to find one’s passion by zen habits, as a friend and i were discussing about finding our life’s passion.

Last week, I’ve been intrigued by the November 2010 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine which had the same theme – “What’s your true calling?”.

Earlier tonight, i started reading “Career Match: Connecting Who You Are With What You’ll Love To Do” by Shoya Zichy and Ann Bidou. The purpose of the book is to foster understanding and accepting the dynamics of our own GENUINE style – its unique strengths and weaknesses. It promulgates that it is possible to be the right person doing the right thing in the right place and enjoying it for those who are true to themselves in spite of naysayers, parental expectations and societal pressures.

I’ve finished answering the Color Q Personality Style Self-assessment, a 10-minute self assessment designed to acquaint one with concepts that are applicable to one’s career. It turns out my primary style is Green, my backup style is Gold and i’m an introvert. Not really surprised with the results and i totally agree that as a Green/Gold introvert, i am a curious combination of warmth and reserve. I also no longer regard myself as a weirdo because apparently, people like me need opportunities to spread our creativity and to impact the lives of others. This trait may be the source of my constant longing for higher purpose or deeper meaning. It makes me think i really might make a good teacher or writer.

I’ve only read a few chapters so far and will continue reading it this week. The book does inspire me to try to be true to my nature, “live a meaningful life and improve the world any way i can” just like my fellow Greens – Oprah Winfrey, Mahatma Gandhi and Ralph Waldo!





ipad thoughts from an average juan (juanita?)


I’m loving my ipad and i am not predisposed to share it even with hubby and baby. In the first place, i bought it because i never got to use my itouch exclusively. Our toddler claimed it for his own. I fondly call my ipad pinkpad because the smart cover and its alternate cover are both pink. Genius!

I use my pinkpad for social networking (aka facebook and twitter), surfing the net, blogging, reading books and magazines, writing notes and random thoughts, organizing my workdays and personal schedule, recording meetings, listing my to-do list, shopping list, menu for the week and drafting an attempt to write a novel. It has become my new best friend. I would love it more if i can watch or rent movies via the Philippine app store. Reminds me to ask hubby regarding that.

I’m not a techy, my hubby is, so i don’t know anything about the technical specifications of the ipad. He is also more in the know when it comes to best apps, updates, etc. That’s why on the rare occasions that he gets hold of pinkpad, he sneaks in an app or two. But since he is currently using an itouch, he is more familiar with those apps.

I’m not an expert, i don’t pretend to be and i don’t have plans of being one but i wanted to maximize the use of my pinkpad. I also did not want to waste money trying each and every app there is before i get the right one. Sometimes customer ratings and feedbacks are not reliable. At one point, i wanted to buy magazines which promise the “keys to maximizing your ipad”, etc.

Since i like writing and taking down notes a lot, one of my first purchases was bento. I was intrigued by it but found it a bit complicated. I want things straight and simple. I should just have downloaded awesome notes for ipad. I used anote on my itouch to make our grocery lists, write random thoughts and ideas, and draft a taglish romance novel. Bento was a bit expensive mistake at US$4.99 (and its tutorial cost $3.99) and so to be more app-wise, i began searching for app advice.

What helped me turn my ipad into my ultimate companion is appstart by app advice It was free when i installed it. It claimed to be an app starter kit with all the essential apps one will ever need. Some items in their list are not downloadable via ph app store but i did get nice apps advice.

appstart does take a fresh and fun approach in teaching average users like me on the best apps there is and how to turn the ipad into a ‘magical’ gadget. They also provide ipad 101, six basic tips on how to use the ipad and other practical tips on surfing the net, facetime, etc. They have a top ten list of apps for moms, dads, children, and it goes on and on.

Among their list on magazine rack, i downloaded Flipboard and Zinio. I enjoy reading magazines on Zinio and instead of going to friendly for Facebook to update myself of my friends’ activities, i use Flipboard. Zinio offers a wide variety of digital versions of magazines. I now subscribe to O! The Oprah Magazine and i have asked customer service to give me free subscription to Good Housekeeping. They promised to give me the link today.

Of course, since i wanted to use my ipad for writing, i downloaded apple’s pages. I also downloaded numbers. I’m still trying to find my way around these apps. Luckily, i found video tutorials via safari books online, which i have free access to care of our company University. Will try to watch the videos later today. Safari books online offer more than 13,500 ebooks and they also have an app for ipad. They offer ipad ‘manuals’ such as “Taking your ipad2 to the max” which i found boring compared to appstart.

Yesterday, hubby and i enjoyed playing scrabble on ipad (nerds!), using our itouch as tile racks. Hubby just loves it when he beats me. Other noteworthy game room games are touch hockey and pinball HD.

Slowly but surely, my pinkpad is helping me become more organized and less forgetful. Important to do’s are listed in notes and meeting and deadlines are in my calendar. It has got me writing more frequently via wordpress. I also prefer to stay at home rather than go out since i feel i’ve got everything i need here – hubby, baby, and my pinkpad (plus wi-fi)!

“When you get, give. When you learn, teach” – Maya Angelou



it only takes a spark


I am supposed to be a successful and career-driven woman. Afterall, I graduated with honors, passed the board exams and have had a good career head start.
And then suddenly, I was lost. I don’t know what I want anymore and I don’t have the drive to aim for more.

I want to do something else. I want to write. I want to design. I want to edit photos and make invites. I want to blog.

I need help and counseling. I need a mentor. I need someone to look up to.
And I also need money, lots of them.

I am okay. I mean, I am happy that i have my hubby and son and that we are blessed to have more than enough for our needs and wants. But as I get older and wiser (I hope), I begin to question myself, is this it? Is life just supposed to be about me and my family and friends. Aren’t we supposed to have a purpose, a deeper meaning, to touch lives and all that?

This then brings me to my next endeavour – to obtain financial freedom so that I can do what I want in my own time. I can also start giving back to others. But this is not feasible at the moment unless I win the lotto. Oh how I hope and fervently pray I will!

Life is difficult. That’s a fact. Most of us are born to work hard for what we want. Entitlement mentality is a no-no.

So what’s an ordinary woman to do? ….Accept the things that she cannot change (at the moment) and make the most of those under her control.

And so I continue to embrace my job. After all it brings in the money. But also, i try to maximise use of my free time to learn a little more each day, to be a better person, wifey and mommy, to find what sparks the light in me and to sustain that spark so that in my own simple way i can enlighten the world one thought at a time, with the help of my pinkpad and fingertips.