Category Archives: mom me

not the best of times


Here I go again, waiting for some miracle to happen. Somewhere along the way of the busy work season, getting and being pregnant, and dealing with one family health woe to another, I lost steam. Life is so unfair. The best intentions and wishful thinking don’t get you to where you want to go, don’t earn you the money you need and don’t take care of domestic issues like rearing a toddler and keeping him healthy.

All those negative thoughts are coming from a tired pregnant working woman who is currently nursing cough and colds and fears for her toddler suffering from the effects of kawasaki disease and for her unborn child. I can’t say I could blame her. But still, this kind of thinking has got to end some time. Hopefully, that time is now.


no excuses


I hate afternoon naps because each and every time I take one, I wake up feeling bad or nursing a headache.

A lot of thoughts are running through my head but my emotions wouldn’t connect, making them seem like a million miles away. But I don’t want the day to end without me capturing some of those thoughts and getting in touch with my current feelings… some sort of breather, an outlet.

Last Friday, our son’s pediatrician finally (though awfully belatedly) confirmed that he has kawasaki disease. What’s worse is that, his sickness is pass the so-called “golden period” of detection and medication of 10 days. The first questions to my and my husband’s minds were: “what kind of pediatrician would fail to diagnose the disease even though the idea was already brought up by another doctor? and what kind of parents are we to ‘allow’ the doctor not to diagnose our son properly and not to have asked for more tests to be done, not to have been more observant? why didn’t we resort to a more in-depth research in google and made our own ‘diagnosis’?”

I’ve always known I was not the best mother. I am an absentee mommy. I thought motherly love (ie. lots of hugs and kisses), best intentions and financial support were enough to protect and help my son grow up. In real life, motherhood is much much more than that. I don’t have the answers though on how I could be better at this. I feel that I already wasted too much time and opportunities to make things right as a mother. My son is almost three. Can I still make it up to him?

I would soon be back to work and realistically speaking, I would soon be so absorbed in my job that I would soon forget my resolve to be a better mother. It’s a cycle I can’t seem to break. I need help so badly. For underprivileged moms like me, we can only do so much. Still, I should give it a try. No ifs, no buts.

toddler’s sleeping problem solved


I’ve been having a good night’s sleep since I got home from the hospital after my surgery. I can’t say the same thing about hubby since he is temporarily fully in charge of our toddler while I am recuperating. Our dilemma over our son’s sleeping problem stretched for almost two months.


Thankfully, our toddler has begun to sleep early and soundly since the night of my 30th birthday. What a gift! He now sleeps by 9 pm, rarely wakes up in the night for a feeding, and gets up at 5 or 6 am. Hopefully, he will stick to this routine for good. Husband on the other hand is having a hard time adjusting to the change in sleeping pattern. He’s been so used to having intermittent sleep that he involuntarily wakes up in the middle of the night or early dawn. Kawawa.

Our son’s pediatrician prescribed a vitamin called Mosegor Vita Syrup to supposedly help our child fall asleep. It’s an Orexigenic Agent with Vitamin B Complex and it contains hydrogen maleate, thiamine, riboflavin phosphate, pyridoxine and nicotinamide. I must say it did help my son fall asleep but then he wakes up after two hours for a feeding and gets too agitated that he wouldn’t go back to sleep until the wee hours of the morning. The medicine merely induced his appetite. We’re thinking of changing his pediatrician as he has the tendency to prescribe medicines all the time instead of giving some practical tips or advice that really works. We need a doctor who is also a parent.

Advice from friends, google results and some common sense helped us address our son’s sleeping issues.

Our mistake is that we allowed our son to get too addicted to Pocoyo videos on You tube on his itouch and on my iPad. He would spend hours watching videos and we let him keep the gadget in bed. Hubby and I are also guilty of bringing our gadgets to bed engrossed in twitter, facebook or blogging, setting a very bad example to our son. I am specially adamant of bringing my iPad to bed, reasoning that it is the only time I get to surf the net, read magazines, or blog.


For weeks, we did everything possible to make our toddler stay sound asleep. We banned his DVDs, limited his daytime naps (no late afternoon naps), dutifully gave him his vitamins before bed, and prohibited gadgets in bed (that was the hardest part for all of us).

Nanay has been telling us to forbid the use of the itouch or iPad before bedtime. From what I read, technology engages our toddler’s brains, keeping them alert and therefore wide awake. It is advisable to ban it out of the bedroom an hour before bedtime, which should be a quiet time. We have less monkeying around in bed to prevent toddler from getting agitated. We also follow a bedtime routine – bath time by 8 pm, some quiet activities in bed such as reading a book (an actual one) or doodling, hushed voice, and a massage. We also encouraged our son’s yaya to engage him in physical activities during the day such as running around in the neighborhood or kicking ball in the house, anything that will exhaust him of his high energy level.

This baby sleep profiler from Johnson’s baby helped us assess our child’s sleeping pattern and yes, we’re using their bedtime baby wash, baby powder and baby lotion.

We had the best intentions when we introduced the gadgets to our toddler as a means to entertain and educate him. It backfired because we did not set a limit on its use.


What I’ve learned is that there are no black and white guidelines in parenting. Each child is unique and we have to learn to adapt our way of parenting to our son’s individual needs and quirks. We just hope that even if we are not experts and we commit mistakes as parents, we’d still be able to raise our son the best way we know how, with the help of family, friends, books and google.

mom me: sleepless nights


I’ve known it all along but i’m only gonna admit it out loud now – i’m an incompetent mom. I’m not saying it in an i’m-in-self-pity mode but as-a-matter-of-fact so that in admitting the problem, I may be empowered to address it.

I had a very good yaya the first year of my baby’s life. She was a veteran in taking care of babies and she took very good care of my son. Somehow, that lessened the pressure on me to do good in child-rearing. But she had to go and I had to step it up as a mom. I never caught up. My husband is more conscious as a parent than I am. He would note and research on things such as weaning from the bottle, etc. I, on the other hand, have relied mostly on my rough instincts as a woman.

My son is less than a month shy from turning two and is already exhibiting streaks of rebellion. Instead of heeding my ‘No’, he would repeat them himself, “No-no-no-no mommy!” He has become assertive and protests – a lot!

Lately, he’s been sleeping very late at night (again!) and would wake up at 4 or 5 in the morning. For a week, both hubby and I were in a foul mood. We then decided to be on duty alternately, that way we can catch up on sleep every other night. It lessened the stress but never solved the problem. My son stays up at night playing or watching you tube on my ipad. I think it was my fault for always resorting to the ipad to keep him preoccupied or company at times that I cannot attend to him.

In the mornings, he is addicted to watching DVDs of Barney, Pocoyo and Disney cars. To eventually solve the problem, hubby and I decided to do something about his addiction. Starting today, I locked away the DVDs and kept the ipad away from him. Still, I couldn’t bear not to allow him to play on his itouch at least.



And alas, it worked…NOT! He was already fast asleep at 9 pm then woke up at 11 pm and wouldn’t go back to sleep again. Deep sigh. Oh well, he would just keep me company as I wait for the Azkals game tonight. I hope we would have better luck tomorrow. I guess the itouch has to go too.