Category Archives: pinkpad

some love and much happiness


I’m having lunch at Sbarro, enjoying my favorite baked ziti. I’m being more mindful now of the little things that bring me gladness. I love that there’s free wi-fi and I was able to post my countdown blog for the day.

I am glad that we can afford (with the help of my and husband’s hmo cards) to go to a very nice clinic and seek the help of qualified doctors. I can’t believe I’ve been to 6 doctors this week alone – 3 ob-gynecologists for my ovarian cyst, 1 dentist for prophylaxis and pasta, 1 general medicine doctor for my pre-employment and 1 ENT doctor for my ears and tongue.

I am happy that we have a yaya we can count on to take care of our son and I can enjoy some guilt-free me-time even if it involves going to the doctor and not to the salon.

I am fortunate to have pinkpad with me always so that i can capture my thoughts and share them instantly.

I am grateful for the prospect of my mother and my husband’s family arriving tomorrow to lend support and take care of our toddler while mommy undergoes surgery.

I am enthralled of Johnoy Danao’s voice and is looking forward to his podcast’s company as I commute to our office today for some last-minute things before I go on leave.

I am fortunate to have the MRT as a dependable and convenient means of transportation to and from work. I’m also proud to say that I have less carbon footprint because I commute and not drive to work.

I am blessed to have another day to spend in this wonderful world. Hope to catch my husband later for some loving. He’s kind of into something important these days and I pray that God bless and guide him more than ever. He actually needs support and prayers as much as I do.

Spread some love and much happiness today!


Time or Money?


I drafted this post about a month ago but never got to finish it until today.

Something came up last week that left me wondering which is more important, time or money.


Keen to find a good answer to my dilemma, I turned to my laptop and googled “which is more important, time or money?” and was led to a number of blogs discussing the topic. Not surprisingly, most answered that time is more important because as my practical husband puts it, time is money.

I am not fully convinced though by the general answers and points that were raised to give time the upper hand.

I remember an argument I had with a cousin when I was in grade school. We were waiting for the jeepney and I asked my father for extra allowance. He said money was tight and had nothing more to give me. In my disappointment, I said half-jokingly,”Bakit hinde ka na lang kasi mag-abroad?!?”

My cousin who overheard me countered that I shouldn’t utter such nonsense and be glad instead that I am enjoying my papa’s company everyday of my life. Her mom worked abroad and her father passed away when she was young.

I did not take her interference lightly and almost told her to keep her mouth shut. Easy for her to say because she had all the toys and new clothes she wanted. I felt she had no right to lecture me. I did not for a moment try to put myself in her shoe. I was brewing the whole day and thought that life was unfair because I didn’t and couldn’t get what I wanted.

My cousin played with barbie dolls. I played with paper doll cut-offs from used folders and illustrated by my artistically-inclined papa. A treat of pizza or ice cream had to be equally divided among a brood of seven. Other kids played super mario, we played patintero, sungka and bingo.

I used to imagine I was adopted and my real parents were filthy rich. One day, I fantasized, they would come and ‘rescue’ me and provide me all the toys, clothes and money that I yearned for. Of course it never happened but it did not hurt to dream.


My materialistic fantasies were reinforced in my teenage years when I watched the film ‘Clueless’ with my barkada and I was so enamored of Alicia Silverstone’s walk-in closet. Everyday, she would choose her outfit with the help of a computer. She would don her chosen clothes, model them and take a picture of herself. She would then choose the best outfit. Wow!


Back then and into my working years, I put more value in money and what it can buy. I guess it’s not until you get a taste and feel of money in your hands that you realize it is not the ultimate source of happiness. It does help to have money though.


When you’re single and young, you have a lot of energy and enthusiasm to put in your job. Having had a career that required long hours of work, I also know the value of time. I complained, a lot, but stayed on for years. The high I got from stress and deadlines and unbeatable camaraderie with colleagues were addictive. It was not until I had a son that I had a paradigm shift. I started putting more value in time, spending a good part of it with my husband and son.

The importance of time and/or money is therefore relative. It depends on one’s past experiences, current situation and preferences, and future goals or objectives. What I have learned is that I cannot live happily and meaningfully with just one, I need a healthy balance of both.


giving birth, my way


My baby just turned 23 months old! It’s unbelievable how a newborn weighing only 2.7 kg (with length of 49 cm) can grow into a 13 kg toddler in nearly 2 years.


I had a lot of fears in giving birth which prompted me to choose to have it in the province, with my mother holding my hand during labor. She gave birth to 7 pesky kids so I must say she’s weathered and wise and knows the stuff giving births are made of. She did try her best to be by my side as I shouted and cursed and begged Ma, ayoko na!!!! Please. Please. Please!!!!

Then she couldn’t take it anymore… and left me, during my last moments before actually giving birth, to my sister, a certified nurse who held my hand as I writhed in pain, praying more than ever that I get through it as quickly as possible.

I began spotting before midnight of August 10th. I called my ob-gyne and she said that it is normal and I should wait until my contractions come at near-intervals before going to the hospital. I woke up at dawn feeling a sudden pain course through my body. My mama decided to bring me to the hospital then and there, deaf to my protests that the doctor said otherwise.

So there I was lying in the hospital admission bed at 5 am, having had no chance to take a bath first as I planned. I was induced at 1 pm and was finally wheeled to the operating room shortly thereafter.

The real (mis)adventure happened in the operating room. The anesthesiologist was missing in action. Apparently he was taking a nap and no one notified him I was ready. I was near-cursing everyone then. After what I felt was an eternity, embarrassingly-lying-in-bed-with-legs-wide-open-waiting-for-the-darn-anesthesiologist, he finally arrived! He curled me into a ball and I cried and shouted more than ever because my pregnant stomach was being crushed and water was sipping out of me.

He was about to inject the needle into my lower back when the worst thing happened – everything went pitch black, literally! No, I did not faint. Apparently, there was a brownout and the emergency light, well, did not give light on such an emergency. That was beyond anything bad at all that could happen on my labor day. Thankfully, after 10 seconds (maybe, it felt a lot longer), the lights and the ‘party’ went on. I pushed and pushed with a vengeance and they had to remind me to slow down. I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. ASAP!

Finally, thank God and all the angels and saints, I gave birth to an adorable baby boy!

It was 2:37 in the afternoon of August 11, 2009 when I was ‘officially declared’ a new mom.

I sighed a good deep sigh. I relished the feeling of relief and satisfaction. I was utterly exhausted but so proud of myself. I could hear phantom clapping in the background. I heard my baby cry and I couldn’t help but smile. I did it! My baby and I made it! More phantom clapping. It was all so whimsically strange and extraordinary.



…Then suddenly my robe was yanked and my baby was laid down on my chest so he could latch on my breast. It was done so callously, my post-card moment was over so soon. But I did smile, a slightly arrogant smile, for the camera and for posterity. I earned bragging rights and a baby after all.

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” – Rajneesh


another uneventful visit to the doctors


Let me say it out loud and with much conviction – I hate going to the doctors!

Most importantly, I should be more mindful of my health – the food I eat, lifestyle in general and fitness regimen – to avoid visits to the doctor other than for mandatory annual physical exams.

I’ve just spent precious 4 hours on a Sunday waiting for and having a consultation with the doctors. Apparently, both of them had a change in their schedules on short notice.

I got very pissed off with the nurses for not putting my form in queue at the internal medicine doctor’s room, wasting another 30 minutes of my time. This prompted me 1) to write a formal complaint in their suggestion box and 2) berate the nurse at the nurse’s station for such mishap. I am normally a tolerant person but I’ve long learned that in this city you have to demand respect and customer service in order to get them. Otherwise, you will just be ignored, an unheard voice. I felt a bit bad afterwards because the wrong person was at the receiving end of my ire, as the nurse who was liable for erring already ended her shift.

I spent no more than 10 minutes with the doctor (imagine!), only to note that most of my test results are satisfactory (good news!) except for my anemia (old news!) and apparently a very high total and direct bilirubin in my liver which prompted the doctor to order a stomach ultrasound and another blood test in 3 months. Apparently and to my dismay, my visit to the clinic is far from over. I was so looking forward to taking a rest from visiting doctors for a while.

After which, I lined up at the ob-gynecologists room for the interpretation of my pap smear result and for my cervical cancer vaccine. I’ll talk about the vaccine in a separate post.

There are a number of things I learned from today:

1) Unless I am filthy rich and have a personal doctor at my beck and call, I should not expect to be seen by the doctor on time;
2) I must not make other plans within 4 to 5 hours of my scheduled visit to the doctor;
3) I should call a day ahead to confirm the doctor’s schedule, just in case; and
4) Most importantly, I should be more mindful of my health – the food I eat, lifestyle in general and fitness regimen – to avoid visits to the doctor other than for mandatory annual physical exams.

And yeah, I have to double check that I have my HMO card with me before I leave the house. Sorry hubby and thank you for wasting your time accompanying me to the doctors, second week in a row.


i’m posting every week for the second half of 2011!


I’m reaching a big milestone in my life this August – I’m turning 30! – and I’ve decided I want to blog more. I’m starting right now. I will be posting on this blog at least once a week for the rest of 2011.

I know it won’t be easy and I might come up with a million excuses, but it will be fun, inspiring, awesome and simply wonderful if I could just do it. Therefore i’m promising to make use of The DailyPost, and the community of other bloggers with similar goals, to help me along the way, including asking for help when I need it and encouraging others when I can.

If you already read my blog, I hope you’ll encourage me with comments and likes, and good will along the way.




this lousy week in my extraordinary life


My toddler is becoming clingy to mommy. Ever since he learned to utter the words ‘mommy’, he’s been using it to his advantage. Just yesterday, I woke up earlier than I intended because I can hear him crying and shouting mommy. Apparently, he wanted to climb the stairs and wake mommy up. Yaya was trying her best to distract him but he only wailed and shouted a little louder.

This has been a long and tiring week for me and I had to cut back a little on time spent with my baby. We were both crying and frustrated the other day – baby because he wanted to play with mommy, and mommy because she just couldn’t play with baby. I had a pressing thing at work to do. Sometimes working from home has its downside.

I went home yesterday with a terrible headache. I worked 24 hours last Tuesday and wasn’t able to catch up on sleep until last night. I almost cried at work at the thought that the job that kept me up for two nights was not done just yet. I’m guessing my tear ducts are aggravated by my impending monthly period. I had a first day false alarm yesterday.

No, i’m not writing this to rant about a lousy week at work. I’m writing this to remind me of the emotions I went through this week, in the hope of understanding myself better and as reference for whatever in the future. Experience has taught me that one’s memory is unreliable and that one has tendency to repeat mistakes because of sub-conscious conditioning as a result of our past. I want to be more enlightened and in the know.

It doesn’t help that my week started off with going to the doctor last Sunday, getting prescriptions for meds and a list of laboratory tests to undergo, not to mention having a pap smear. There’s just something about visiting a doctor that makes me a little uneasy. I had blood taken last Monday, a urine test and an ECG (an embarrassing experience, next to the pap smear). Today, i’m going to have a 2DED. Whatever that is, i’ll learn after today. I’m going back to the Internal medicine doctor and my obe-gyne this Sunday for diagnosis based on lab results and cervical cancer vaccine. It’s a full week indeed!

Oh of course, it was not “all-hell” this week, there was a piece of good news I received last Tuesday. Good Housekeeping editor emailed me to say that Yes, they’re going to publish my essay in the Blessings section of their September 2011 issue. Yey! That’s a dream come true for me. I remember tweeting that if I get money from writing, I’ll buy hubby an ipad. Well… I guess I have to write more. A lot more. Hahaha!

Happy Friday everyone. Life is never boring, enjoy!



health is wealth


I am getting old and close to advocating that health is wealth. I’ve also become more appreciative of my and hubby’s company medical benefits.

When I first heard on the MRT in-house entertainment that a left-handed woman can be divorced in Japan because they are prone to diseases and die young, I thought it was funny and unbelievable. But maybe there’s a grain of truth to it as recently, I’ve been sickly and losing weight.

Today, I had a checkup with the General Medicine Doctor, the Ophthalmologist and my Obi-Gynecologist – for free! Thanks to hubby’s corporate HMO. Because of my almost-blacking out spell last Tuesday, i’m scheduled to take fasting blood test and other laboratory tests early tomorrow, also for free. I have EDED/ Echo(?) scheduled on Friday.

Thank God the Ophthalmologist cleared me of any eye disorder even though I’ve been seeing this tiny gray specks called floaters, but not after dilating my eyes and having me cry a good deal of tears from those intense lights.

What I couldn’t get over with though is the Pap smear with my Obi-gyne. It’s my second time but it still ain’t something I feel comfortable going through. It’s a necessary precaution though, I suppose, especially because my aunt had died of complications from ovarian cancer. I’ve also decided to use up the rest of my medical allowance for cervical cancer vaccine. I’ll be having my first shot this Sunday after I get the results of the pap smear. Prevention is better than cure. Cliche but true.

I feel like I’ve wasted a good sunday morning going to the clinic but sometimes an apple a day just does not fit the bill, a ‘quick’ visit to the doctor does. Hoping for the best. Keep fit everyone!


impulse buying


I don’t have self-discipline. I’ve been telling myself to cut back on my personal expenses but the other day, a sudden urge to eat ice cream had me speeding down to 7 eleven in no time. I came back loaded with junk food. Later that day, while hubby was buying Gatorade after his run, I bought myself the latest issue of Smart Parenting Magazine. I tried to hold off buying the mag as long as I can but I couldn’t help myself. I’m into magazine these days. And to think that I just spent 500 bucks eating in Pancake House instead of joining hubby in his run (I was feeling a little fatigued). It’s those little expenses that are keeping me bankrupt.

Since I did not win the lotto the other night, I must do something desperately. My technique is to put only P200 in my wallet each day. I’ve got some emergency money stashed somewhere but I vow never to touch it unless absolutely necessary, as in a matter of life and death situation. I have my lunch baon anyway (most days, at least).

I’m an Ilokana but I have no spend-thriftiness in my bones. It’s hard, so hard to keep myself from buying things. I really hope I would become more discerning in my purchases. So help me God. Please.



good morning beautiful world


Woke up at 5:40 am and found out hubby is already on his way to the office. I can’t imagine leaving the house this early for work. I used to many years ago, when we had inventory counts for out-of-town clients.

I used to hate waking up early. At home, I grew up being ‘allowed’ to oversleep because mama got tired of trying to rouse us (my siblings and me).

These days though, I’ve been feeling that my whole day is not enough for all the things I want to do in a day. After work and the long commute, my first priority is to spend bonding time with husband and baby. There’s nothing much I can do after because my toddler either demands I play with him until he sleeps, which is quite late, or he plays with my pinkpad. I couldn’t do anything without my pinkpad because it contains my books, magazines, notepad, etc.

I read somewhere that the best way to make time for your passions such as family, hobbies and interests, is to wake up early. That way, you can give your very best energy doing the things that you want and being with the people that matters most to you. You are also most intelligent and creative in the morning because your brain is at its prime. If you wait until after work to find time for yourself and those that matter to you, you would most likely be giving only your second best or worse.

That makes a lot of sense to me so maybe I should take the cue from hubby and make waking up early a habit. I could happily spend an extra hour eating breakfast with my baby and husband, preparing lunch baon and writing or reading a few lines…. or more.

Good morning my wonderful world!



a bit scary experience


Scared myself big time yesterday for almost blacking out while inside the Metro Rail Transit (MRT). I had a bad case of stomach cramps then felt nauseous. My vision became blurry. I was thinking of telling the ladies near me that I was about to faint but I felt I could not trust anybody at that moment, especially because I had pinkpad with me. Haha! The thought of losing consciousness in the company of strangers was not comforting.

Good thing I had a piece of chocolate in my bag. I had fainted a number of times when I was pregnant so somehow the feeling was not new to me. Still, it was a bizarre scary experience. I took a quick bite of the chocolate and prayed so heartily that I will not lost consciousness. I did not black out totally but was fast losing it so I decided to call my hubby on the phone. I felt I was being pulled out of consciousness but I tried hard to reach out to hubby. I was also thinking of the best way to deal with my predicament. Good thing the MRT stopped at Shaw Station. It must have been adrenaline rush because I somehow got off the train even though I could barely see where i’m going. I went to find the guard. He let me sit on the steps of his station and gave me an empty bottle of white flower. Somehow, its smell prevented me from totally fainting. It was empty he said because someone fainted earlier that day. I tried to compose myself for about 15 minutes before braving the MRT again, comforted by the thought that hubby will be waiting for me in Ayala.

Fainting or syncope is a sudden loss of consciousness from lack of blood flow to the brain. I guess my vagus nerve, which connects the digestive system to the brain, got a little too excited and pulled too much blood from my brain. Consequently, my blood pressure went down and I felt faint.

Signs and symptoms of fainting include feeling lightheaded, confusion, nausea, tunnel or blurred vision, sweating, flushed or pale color, feeling hot and trembling or shaking. I must have looked weird because even before I asked for help, the guard was assisting me and trying to keep me cool. In my case, the cause of my fainting I think was my stomach cramps. I also felt a bit of chest pain.

I guess the best thing that I could have done was to just lie down in the MRT and let the fainting spell pass. But I did not feel comfortable doing that. It’s also a blessing that I did not completely black out. I really hope it won’t happen again.