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an attempt to write again


I want to write again. So this is a try, though it’s mostly a rant, a form of therapy.

Ghosts from work are still haunting me, i’m trying to brace myself for anticipated client issues and problems. I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help myself. I have the tendency to be a mild worrywart, especially for things at work that are beyond my control. I still have to learn to completely let go, to shrug off issues and leave them at work. My colleagues keep telling me not to let the stress get to me and the baby in my tummy.

I’ve always struggled a bit in my career, mostly due to my introverted personality. When I talk to God, I always ask for courage, strength and wisdom because i’ve always been weak, shy and not assertive.

I’m thankful though that despite the negative thoughts nagging at me, I still sleep well at night except during those times when my toddler wakes up in the middle of the night to ask for milk.

My toddler has become so malambing these days that it warms my heart (most of the time, at least) and his smile and hugs and kisses keep me sane. I’m also grateful for my husband who is always there for me. Just knowing I have them to go home to everyday makes me feel secure and happy and forget (even if briefly) the worries and troubles being an adult in this world brings. I’ve always been like this but I’ve observed that i’ve become less worrisome as the years go by. Maybe with more experience and years behind me, I’ll finally learn to be assertive and a bit nonchalant at work (like I am in some aspects of my life). Here’s to the best intentions for 2012. Cheers!


a farewell note


This week, two colleagues bade us goodbye. Since I got back, almost all of the staff I worked with previously have moved on to other job opportunities. It’s quite sad and heartbreaking to see people go, especially those whom you have shared fond memories and bonded with over difficult and stressful client moments.

But, realistically, that’s just the way life is. People come and go. Change is inevitable. We all need to make choices and embrace changes sometimes, in order to grow and find ourselves and what makes us happy and gives us fulfillment. I speak from experience.

Once upon a time, I also had to leave my first job to fulfill an answered prayer of being given the chance to work abroad. It was a frightening but brave move for me. On the night before my last day, I wrote this farewell note and posted it together with a short video to thank the people I have worked with for almost five years:

This is just me trying to find a unique way to say, “so long”.

I take tonight as the eve of a graduation day. I’m a mixture of emotions.
I feel excited and yet at the same time melancholic.
I’m looking forward to an upcoming adventure yet memories of my five audit seasons in the office keep flashing before my teary eyes.
This is both ‘goodbye’ and ‘not goodbye but so long’.
This is bittersweet.

My stay in the office has changed me a lot. I’ve grown up.
I’ve overcome my shyness. I fostered new and deep relationships.
I have had first-time experiences. I have been to different places.
I have fulfilled some of my dreams and accomplished things I always hoped I would.

Busy seasons are tough but I will always look back to those years with a sense of pride and accomplishment.
Eventhough I’m guilty of complaining a lot about our work, the clients and the deadlines, it breaks my heart to say goodbye to a place I have spent countless hours in – working, taking pictures, laughing, crying, eating…. the list just goes on and on. It is harder still to say goodbye to the people whom I have had the chance to work, play, laugh, argue, cry and talk with during the fun and difficult times in audit.


I’m sad that I have to close this chapter in my life, yet I’m glad and will forever be grateful that I met and had the chance to work with the best and brightest people with big hearts.

Thank you so much and God bless.

Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. – Richard Bach